time's winged chariots

for the last week and a half, i've been considering my priorities and the direction of things in general. this morning, Beloved and i sat down and put a plan in place to finish the laundry area and exercise room downstairs. my hope is to get this project finished while we are in the process of moving Beloved's mother - hereinafter Bubbie - up to connecticut.

once she's here, and the downstairs is finished, our next project will be to spruce up the living room and the writing room. there's floors to refinish, furniture to remove and replace, bookcases to stain, drapes and slipcovers to make. i plan to reupholster my great-grandmother's loveseat and wingchair.

in all likelihood, all of this won't be accomplished until next christmas, but i like knowing we have a strategy in place.

Beloved was thoughtful enough to break the shower head off the wall this morning, too, so it was a perfect day to call joe-the-builder.

libby's taking driver's ed this winter, and she'll be eligible to get her license on may 15th. in my mind, i'm calling it lib-eration day, because that's the day i get to hang up my full-time chauffer hat. there's a poignancy, im sure, but for right now, its far enough away i can only look to it with anticipation. so far, libby has shown herself to be a mostly level-headed and responsible driver, as attentive to detail in her driving as she is in everything else.

an expanse of time and latitude are opening up before me, in a way it never has before. for the first time in a long time - since katie was born nearly 30 years ago - my comings and goings will not need to revolve so carefully around anyone else. i will not need to make the early morning trek up the hill that has punctuated my prime writing hours for the past seven years. i will not need to shape my days around the form of school or activities. i know all too well this brings a measure of its own anxiety, but the degree of freedom i will have once libby has her drivers' license is almost dizzying for me to contemplate.

for me, time has always been the most precious resource i have. i hoard my time, doling it out as i have to, jealous as a miser. my attitude toward my own time has gotten me in trouble with more than one employer, who all have seemed to feel that their measly pittance could ever in anyway compensate me for the expense of what i have always felt to be my most finite resource. blood, sweat and tears i make more of, but every hour of my time that slips away is an hour of my life forever lost. i count time as part of the energy i expend, and therefore, i try more carefully than many, i think, to only put my energy into things that really matter.

and so, as the days literally begin to lengthen, im feeling a need to consider carefully how make the most of this new gift of what i think of as the most precious resource of them all.

i'm thinking that it's time for me to have a Reading.

and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.

growing pains

many years ago now, my best friend in all the world and i decided to start a writers' group. we based it on everything we knew and liked (and didn't like) about other writers' organizations, such as RWA. we started as a group of five writers in lorraine's living room, and quickly outgrew her space.

that little writers' group is still going strong, but if you read anything about their history, there will be no mention of either lorraine or myself. (lorraine was expunged, expelled and expurgated by the membership, and i walked out in disgust over the way she was treated by a certain faction within the organization.)

but that's the way it is with groups, i've learned. groups are like people in that they're born, they grow, they change and sometimes, they die.

despite my lack of affiliation with that little writers' group, i'm still proud of what lorraine and i did. a dynamic group, in my opinion, will frequently outgrow and overtake its founders, just like children have a way of taking off in directions their parents never dream possible. a good founder, like a good parent, has to know when to let go. i still read their website every once in awhile, and i always feel a little tickle of pride when i do.

the writers' circles i belong to here are much smaller than the monster that one turned into, but they still suffer from growing pains from time to time. my little passiflora group is hiccuping along from month-to-month, and the wethersfield circle was feeling a few pangs as well.

today our wethersfield circle met, and discussed ways to address our concerns, and i think we've come up with some solutions that will work. it helped tremendously, of course, that i had all that experience from that other little writers' group back in allentown.

and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.