Saturday, April 9, 2011

so raw

I watched my father die.  I saw him draw his last short breath, I heard his last huffed exhalation.  I saw the pulse beneath his chin flutter like a butterfly's wing, then stop.  I held his hand against my cheek - still so much bigger than mine - and whispered the songs he used to sing to me. 

I saw, for just a moment, his flesh turn transluscent, as if a light rose up from within.  In that moment, in his dying, my father was as absolutely beautiful as he ever was in life. 

6 comments:

Dark Mother said...

Wow. Just wow.

I watched my mother dying for a week, but she finally let go just minutes after I went outside for a breath of fresh air.

My sister died while I was 6 hours away, just weeks after I saw her willowing away.

The only living beings I've held in my arms while dying were dogs I've had to put to sleep due to illness.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father.

Annie Kelleher said...

ty so much for your kind words, dark mother... i honestly don't know how you get through this if you believe physical death is hte end.

Dark Mother said...

I was very young when my mother died and because I was raised by an Atheist and Agnostic...I didn't have a Spiritual path. I lost my shit after my mother died. It was after the birth of my son when I felt my mother's spirit in the room that my Spiritual Path found me. Thank The Goddess for that.

Annie Kelleher said...

wow...and blessed be <>>

Walk in the Woods said...

What a strange and beautiful blessing moment you experienced, to be hand-in-hand with your Daddy in his moment of passing. I can't even imagine.

Being a Daddy's Girl, I type these words while wiping the blur of tears away. My opens for you … and anything I can do to ease this facet of your journey, please know that I am here for you.

Love you.

Annie Kelleher said...

ty so much, dear rose :)