Tuesday, April 3, 2012

The things we do for love

It's Day Two of Full-time Grandmothering and I have to say I'm hanging in there.  The children are delightful, of course, as only the children of one's children can be, and the weather has mostly cooperated - except for some morning rain yesterday and a spring chill in the air, it's been sunny enough to spend long amounts of time outside.

But I'm tired....wow, am I tired.  There are good reasons we are biologically primed to have children in our twenties, and vigor is chief among them.  Are you sure you want to do this, asked my husband, slightly incredulous.  Whatever possessed you, asked the children's other grandmother, last weekend at the birthday party for me and Baby Grace.

Two things, I thought.

For one, when I was first a grandmother, another older, wiser grandmother gave me the best advice any grandmother has ever given me.  "Always say yes," she said.  "Because you won't believe how fast they grow...if you think your children grew fast, wait til you see how fast your grandchildren grow up.  So always say yes, if you possibly can, because even the hours you spend with them will go by all too quickly in retrospect."

The other is that a long time ago I read an article in the New York Times that reported on a study that showed that children born in sub-Saharan Africa who had a maternal grandmother in their lives were more likely to live.  When my daughter became a mother, I understood why that could be true.  I am willing to care for her children because she is my child.  Caring for my grandchildren is as much an act of caring for my daughter as it is an act of caring for them.  No matter how many grandchildren I have, my children are forever my children.  The flesh of my daughter's flesh feels like the bone of my bone.

And everyone knows a mother's work is never done.  :)


Doreen said...

Oh dear Annie - your words ring so true and to hear you express what I feel so strongly that the blessing of taking care of my grandchildren is also an extension of taking care of my daughter. You are so wise! I also always say "yes" and completely relate to the feelings of being exhausted at the end of the day - often going to bed when they do! Enjoy and YOU CAN! much love and gratitude for the words of wisdom. peace and love, Doreen

Sara Thompson said...

What an amazing view. I know so many people who's mother (or grandmother) refuse to be a full part of their lives. I'm grateful that my mom is and I am fairly sure the reason we are functional at all is because I could rely on my parents for support.

Stacie said...

Wow. This post gave me goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes! You are so loving and wise. I will remember this advice always, and apply it when I become a grandmother. So beautiful, Annie! Thanks for sharing! xoxoxoxo