time's winged chariots

for the last week and a half, i've been considering my priorities and the direction of things in general. this morning, Beloved and i sat down and put a plan in place to finish the laundry area and exercise room downstairs. my hope is to get this project finished while we are in the process of moving Beloved's mother - hereinafter Bubbie - up to connecticut.

once she's here, and the downstairs is finished, our next project will be to spruce up the living room and the writing room. there's floors to refinish, furniture to remove and replace, bookcases to stain, drapes and slipcovers to make. i plan to reupholster my great-grandmother's loveseat and wingchair.

in all likelihood, all of this won't be accomplished until next christmas, but i like knowing we have a strategy in place.

Beloved was thoughtful enough to break the shower head off the wall this morning, too, so it was a perfect day to call joe-the-builder.

libby's taking driver's ed this winter, and she'll be eligible to get her license on may 15th. in my mind, i'm calling it lib-eration day, because that's the day i get to hang up my full-time chauffer hat. there's a poignancy, im sure, but for right now, its far enough away i can only look to it with anticipation. so far, libby has shown herself to be a mostly level-headed and responsible driver, as attentive to detail in her driving as she is in everything else.

an expanse of time and latitude are opening up before me, in a way it never has before. for the first time in a long time - since katie was born nearly 30 years ago - my comings and goings will not need to revolve so carefully around anyone else. i will not need to make the early morning trek up the hill that has punctuated my prime writing hours for the past seven years. i will not need to shape my days around the form of school or activities. i know all too well this brings a measure of its own anxiety, but the degree of freedom i will have once libby has her drivers' license is almost dizzying for me to contemplate.

for me, time has always been the most precious resource i have. i hoard my time, doling it out as i have to, jealous as a miser. my attitude toward my own time has gotten me in trouble with more than one employer, who all have seemed to feel that their measly pittance could ever in anyway compensate me for the expense of what i have always felt to be my most finite resource. blood, sweat and tears i make more of, but every hour of my time that slips away is an hour of my life forever lost. i count time as part of the energy i expend, and therefore, i try more carefully than many, i think, to only put my energy into things that really matter.

and so, as the days literally begin to lengthen, im feeling a need to consider carefully how make the most of this new gift of what i think of as the most precious resource of them all.

i'm thinking that it's time for me to have a Reading.

and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.