this time last year i was enjoying the pause between the frenzy of moving my grandmother and the baby shower for sixty people and baby jake's arrival. last year, my house was clean, my gardens weeded.
this year i am buried, in boxes and paint cans and construction dust. my world feels chaotic, unspooled. all the artificial structures and spreadsheets i have created to get some fragile fix on the world feel just that - fragile, and utterly unequal to the task of Holding It All Together. nearly three months into this massive project, and i am restless, edgy. i want to get it Done.
and yet, every step i take in that direction feels as futile as a finger in a dam.
and furthermore, the war must end. blessed be.