an astute Gentle Reader of my Other Blog noticed that i referred to myself as the mother of four daughters - not three. as this Gentle Reader said to me in an email, which i dont think she'll mind if i quote:
"Just last night, while taking Oldest Daughter out to dinner before
sending her off for her last semester of college in L.A., she and New Husband
and I talked about the "step" prefix, and whether it would ever fall away,
after we've been a family for 20 or so years. They didn't think so. Do you
always make the distinction between steps and your own kids?"
well, no... at least i try not to. i prefer not to. i don't like the bifurcation such distinctions cause in families. blended families have so many issues, the last thing everyone needs, i think, is yet another reminder of the blendedness, which, alas, in so many quarters of our culture, equates to broken-ness.
real families, at least as i think of them, are created by bonds of love, not law, and not, certainly, even by shared DNA, especially when i consider how much i love my puppies. and so, i don't like to put in the steps, the dashes, the little signifiers that tell the world we could in some sense be "broken."
because we are not. in our together-ness, we are healed.
and furthermore, the war must end. blessed be.