how i quit writing...then started up again (part one)

at the end of last month, i explained how, on february 28, 2002, i officially quit writing. driven by bills, rejection and inability to produce a marketable story, i decided i'd had enough. eight published novels had to be enough. i was determined to stop torturing myself, my family and my agent, and focus on my "real" career - which was in corporate communications.

after all, i reasoned, if writing the story i'd been struggling with was something i was meant to do, let it come back.... all on its own. i was finished chasing after it.

so i quit. just like that. the funny thing was that come september, october of that year, the story did come back... in bits and snippets and snatches of half-heard dialogue. but i had bigger problems to face.

the events of sept 11, 2001 had a massive effect on the insurance industry, and the company i worked for - a british company in business since 1710 - had taken a particularly hard hit. the handwriting on the wall spelled lay-off, and for me, the third one in five years.

when Heaven wants you to know you're walking down the wrong path, She always sends you Signs. i'd begun my study into indigenous mythologies and practices, i'd delved into wicca and other forms of neo-paganism. but a very large part of my head was still locked into the place where i believed i needed a "career" to support my family and be acknowledged as a contributing valued member of society.

so instead of consulting the stars or the sky or the trees, as i might do now, at that point, i decided to consult a career counselor.

and furthermore, the war must end. blessed be.