Thursday, September 10, 2009

never fear, martha dear

when i said i succumbed yesterday, i meant to another facebook quiz - not the mediocre book on which it's based. im not saying im not a fan of mediocre fiction - after all, i've written a lot of it myself, and continue to do so - but the Twilight phenomena has mostly left me cold. when libby read me the first book -it was the only way i'd consent to try to get through the whole thing - i couldn't stand bella. i liked her so much less in the second book i had to make libby stop reading it.

the trouble with bella is that she whines. incessantly, but mostly, as far as i can tell, because edward refuses to make her a vampire.

not that i blamed her.

OF COURSE she wants to be a vampire. who wouldn't want to a vampire in this story, after all... they're all gorgeous and rich and they live forever. oh, yeah, sure there's that silly part about losing a soul - but if you can be rich and beautiful and young forever, why does it matter? the vampires in these books don't suffer from lack of anything as far as i could tell.

consequently, when that idiot edward kept telling bella he wouldn't make her a vampire, i wanted to hit him. i didn't find the vampires in twilight attractive OR credible. i found them insufferable in a way that made me want to go for THEIR throats. (sure, doctor cullen's a vampire who can be around blood - oceans of it, for hours on end - not only without going berserk but also performing brilliant medical feats that make everyone around him love him even more. that makes tons of sense when we're also being told how difficult it is for vampires to be around humans even when they aren't gushing fountains of blood.)

of course, what's really going on is that the author is a mormon, and the book reflects her patriarchal world view where Wise Men know better than Silly Girls what's best for them. that my daughters and my sister (my phi beta kappa sister!)are so enthralled boggles my mind and makes me wonder if maybe i really did wind up with the wrong kids in the wrong family.

so no, it doesn't really make me want to swoon, martha dear. it makes me want to puke.

and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.

10 comments:

Walk in the Woods said...

OK ... may I'll continue to steer clear. :)

Bonnie said...

I wasn't the least bit interesting in this whole Twilight thing. Now that I've read your blog, I'm glad I didnt' give in to pressure to check it out. I tend to not follow what others go crazy for, like Harry Potter. Not my thing either. So I'll just keep on with my murder/mysteries.

I am Harriet said...

Never thought of it that way. You do have a point and you are indeed a hoot.

Anonymous said...

My daughter is also an anti-fan of Twightlight. But my question is.. how did you wind up being Bella in the quiz?

Allison said...

I don't know why this keeps posting me as anonymous....when I am not!

Amy said...

I was just happy to see you take the quiz...

Martha said...

Thanks for the clarification, Annie. I tried to read the first book after seeing the movie to appease my cousin but couldn't make it past 50 pages.
I liked the movie, I also liked the HP movies without having read the books.
I am such a Facebook slacker.
I am going to get some of your books because I am Sure your fiction is ANYTHING But MEDIOCRE!!!
Blessings, my dear.

Lynette said...

some just love these books but it takes all kinds

April said...

I've thought that I was the "odd man out", so to speak, because I've never become taken with the whole Twilight craze. Glad I'm not alone! :)

Kim said...

Tegi has read the series twice now. She then gave the books to bio and I am reaquiring them for Lexi. Lexi is reading them because all her friends are. Everyone at work read them. I made through the first two and a couple of chapters of book three. Uugh! They are so predictable I was bored and annoyed. Poor Bella is nothing without the perfect man - please - give me a break. Grow some self esteem and dump the jerk.