my daddy is back in the hospital. he was there earlier in the week, unbeknownst to us. he goes so regularly that it's become a routine. what happened was that the chest pains he experiences - the angina - didn't respond to the nitroglycerin tablets he usually takes.
he's also suddenly gone deaf in one ear. among the possible reasons for this occurence is a slight stroke.
my daddy's heart is giving out. there's no way he could survive surgery, and so the plan is to manage him as best as possible with medication. but the plethora of drugs he takes has its double-edge: sometimes, as they did this time, the combination is not so smooth.
as heavy as my heart is at the thought of losing my daddy, if i had to pick anywhere on earth to have to contemplate such a reality, it would have to be here. as i sit and type this, the waves are washing over and around the black reefs, and the sky is starting to glow. the neon colors of a hawaiian dawn hover around the edges of the clouds.
Beloved is pottering around the room... settling in, he calls it. my father would not want me to be upset. the best thing i can do for him, i think, is to enjoy myself as much as i possibly can.
you have the most important job in my kingdom, my daddy said to Beloved the other day.
what's that, said Beloved.
taking care of my princess, said my daddy.
for some reason, in hawaii, i don't just feel taken care of, i feel loved.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.