i don't understand it. people who think susan boyle "lost" the other night - including poor miss boyle herself, apparently - aren't focused on what she did, undisputably and undeniably, win.
sure, she may have lost the competition, but so what? first of all, she lost to a dance troupe. that's like a losing a cooking competition to a rendition of pate d'foi gras when you're entering chocolate torte. how could a singer and a dance troupe - not even an individual dancer - possibly be judged on the same criteria for performance? it's absurd to even consider the show a "competition" if that's the case.
and who doesn't think the queen isn't going to ask miss boyle to sing for her?
because, in my opinion, susan boyle won the moment she opened her mouth that very first evening and the voice of an angel poured out of her throat. she WON the moment simon's jaw dropped and the smarmy smile got wiped off his face, when piersy started to grin and the lady judge started to cry. she WON in that moment and the fact that it was captured on camera and broadcast around the globe via internet means that that moment of unadulterated triumph of joy over judgement will live for a very long time. it will continue to evoke tears and cheers. miss boyle's name will become a synonym for the Light that shines within us all, cloaked as it may be in the most ordinary of skin.
i hope miss boyle is feeling better and i hope she is able to understand that for me, and for just about everyone i know, she didn't lose a competition - she lit up an entire world.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
Friday, June 5, 2009
my yellow beetle
driving my yellow beetle is one of the unimportant things that makes me happy, and stacie, who visited me last summer, noted in her comment she didn't see it when she was here.
it wasn't in the garage, stacie... it was on a mission.
my beetle came to me when my dear friend, lorraine, died a few years ago. her daughter made sure it came to me when lorraine passed because alison knew how much i loved to drive it whenever lorraine and i went anywhere together. i even drove it into manhattan so we could see the full monty, and liam neeson in the crucible among others.
around here its not the best car to drive in the winter - our driveway is long and uphill, the roads are narrow, winding country lanes. from november to february, i don't drive it much, but spring, summer and fall, it's such a happy color, it's hard not to be in good mood when i drive it.
late last february, i got a call from my son that his girlfriend had been in an accident. on her way to work, her little car spun out of control and crashed in a snowbank. cj was more or less okay - her little car wasn't.
i told him she could borrow the bug.
but by the time they showed up to pick it up, i knew what i wanted from her in exchange. cj is a dear sweet girl who's had some really awful cards dealt her way. she's kind and loving to my son, honed by life into a pretty little thing with a spine of steel. but she's had some tough breaks and i knew it was time to offer her a better deal. she couldn't afford a more reliable car. and one big blot on her credit score was the fact that although she'd been separated from her first mistake... i mean husband... for more than three years... she was still legally married.
"honey," i said, when they showed up, "here's what i want you to do. you can drive the bug. drive it as long as you need it. all you have to do is standard maintenance... change the oil, stuff like that. but don't worry about bringing it back. use the time and the money you'd put toward a new car right now to save up for a divorce. because until you break completely from the past, you really can't move forward."
i remember how she looked at me, still shocked from the accident. "in fact," i continued, "you can't bring it back to me until you get divorced."
on august 18, nearly six months to the day later, cj got her divorce. my little yellow bug drove her to the courthouse and back and i know lorraine was laughing in the front seat beside her, all the way.
it wasn't in the garage, stacie... it was on a mission.
my beetle came to me when my dear friend, lorraine, died a few years ago. her daughter made sure it came to me when lorraine passed because alison knew how much i loved to drive it whenever lorraine and i went anywhere together. i even drove it into manhattan so we could see the full monty, and liam neeson in the crucible among others.
around here its not the best car to drive in the winter - our driveway is long and uphill, the roads are narrow, winding country lanes. from november to february, i don't drive it much, but spring, summer and fall, it's such a happy color, it's hard not to be in good mood when i drive it.
late last february, i got a call from my son that his girlfriend had been in an accident. on her way to work, her little car spun out of control and crashed in a snowbank. cj was more or less okay - her little car wasn't.
i told him she could borrow the bug.
but by the time they showed up to pick it up, i knew what i wanted from her in exchange. cj is a dear sweet girl who's had some really awful cards dealt her way. she's kind and loving to my son, honed by life into a pretty little thing with a spine of steel. but she's had some tough breaks and i knew it was time to offer her a better deal. she couldn't afford a more reliable car. and one big blot on her credit score was the fact that although she'd been separated from her first mistake... i mean husband... for more than three years... she was still legally married.
"honey," i said, when they showed up, "here's what i want you to do. you can drive the bug. drive it as long as you need it. all you have to do is standard maintenance... change the oil, stuff like that. but don't worry about bringing it back. use the time and the money you'd put toward a new car right now to save up for a divorce. because until you break completely from the past, you really can't move forward."
i remember how she looked at me, still shocked from the accident. "in fact," i continued, "you can't bring it back to me until you get divorced."
on august 18, nearly six months to the day later, cj got her divorce. my little yellow bug drove her to the courthouse and back and i know lorraine was laughing in the front seat beside her, all the way.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
i've been tagged!!!
by DIVAEVA.. of DailyDoseOfDiva!
here's the rules....
List Six Unimportant Things That Make You Happy.
Mention and link to the person who tagged you.
Tag six of your favorite bloggers to play along, and comment on their blog to let them know they've been tagged.
as tags and memes go, this one is pretty simple... so after some thought... here's six unimportant things that make me happy, in no particular order...
1. the way sam and buddy greet me differently from every other member of the family.
2. the way Beloved brings me roses almost every morning from may through october.
3. the taste of my first sip of every morning's coffee
4. driving the yellow beetle that belonged to my dear friend, lorraine
5. the scent of lilacs
6. the sound of rain
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
here's the rules....
List Six Unimportant Things That Make You Happy.
Mention and link to the person who tagged you.
Tag six of your favorite bloggers to play along, and comment on their blog to let them know they've been tagged.
as tags and memes go, this one is pretty simple... so after some thought... here's six unimportant things that make me happy, in no particular order...
1. the way sam and buddy greet me differently from every other member of the family.
2. the way Beloved brings me roses almost every morning from may through october.
3. the taste of my first sip of every morning's coffee
4. driving the yellow beetle that belonged to my dear friend, lorraine
5. the scent of lilacs
6. the sound of rain
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
confirmation from obama
it's not often i look for confirmation in the pages of the political press, but i have to say my heart was lightened when i happened to read this quote from obama: "part of being a good friend is being honest."
aye, there's the rub. how do you be honest and spare the other person's feelings? how do you speak your truth and allow that someone else's might remain different from yours?
yesterday i met with a dear friend and had a very hard conversation. i had to explain how my feelings were being hurt, even while i understood it was not intentional. it's hard to sit with someone you care about and tell them they are, at least in your world, messing up. it's even harder to say it in a way that they can hear it and not throw things at you, retreat into silence or launch accusations of their own.
and now comes the hard part... because i'm second-guessing myself now, wondering if i did the right thing, if i said the right thing, if i handled myself in the "right" way. i must allow my friend the courtesy of sitting in her turn with all i said. i must release all expectation of any outcome, positive or negative.
so it was very nice to turn to a random web page and see that no less a person that the president of the united states - someone i can actually respect, for a change, no less! - had had this to say in the last 24 hours: "part of being a good friend is being honest."
and furthermore, the war WILL end. blessed be.
aye, there's the rub. how do you be honest and spare the other person's feelings? how do you speak your truth and allow that someone else's might remain different from yours?
yesterday i met with a dear friend and had a very hard conversation. i had to explain how my feelings were being hurt, even while i understood it was not intentional. it's hard to sit with someone you care about and tell them they are, at least in your world, messing up. it's even harder to say it in a way that they can hear it and not throw things at you, retreat into silence or launch accusations of their own.
and now comes the hard part... because i'm second-guessing myself now, wondering if i did the right thing, if i said the right thing, if i handled myself in the "right" way. i must allow my friend the courtesy of sitting in her turn with all i said. i must release all expectation of any outcome, positive or negative.
so it was very nice to turn to a random web page and see that no less a person that the president of the united states - someone i can actually respect, for a change, no less! - had had this to say in the last 24 hours: "part of being a good friend is being honest."
and furthermore, the war WILL end. blessed be.
Monday, June 1, 2009
things i hope
1. i hope my son gets a new job with a salary and benefits.
2. i hope sam doesn't poop on the rug tonight while i go to the grocery store - she refused to poop outside and i swear the dog has Plans.
3. i hope my research assistant's move goes smoothly - she's got two little girls and a persnickety hubby.
4. i hope today my words were true.
2. i hope sam doesn't poop on the rug tonight while i go to the grocery store - she refused to poop outside and i swear the dog has Plans.
3. i hope my research assistant's move goes smoothly - she's got two little girls and a persnickety hubby.
4. i hope today my words were true.
in the merry month of june
my middle daughter meg is going to dublin. she got herself accepted into a semester abroad program - making the dean's list all year while taking care of baby jake while his mommy and daddy work - and now she is headed back to, as Beloved likes to say, the Land of Our People.
freud once observed that the irish were the only people who couldn't be helped by psychoanalysis, and gk chesterton said they were the "men whom God made mad." they're also the men God made devastatingly handsome in a way that has nothing to do with how they look... although a lot of irishmen ARE devastatingly handsome - pierce brosnan and my daddy being two of them. but its not just how irishmen look that makes them so attractive... its how they sound.
and so we begin to make our lists and our plans, and while i know she's coming back.. i wonder for how long.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
freud once observed that the irish were the only people who couldn't be helped by psychoanalysis, and gk chesterton said they were the "men whom God made mad." they're also the men God made devastatingly handsome in a way that has nothing to do with how they look... although a lot of irishmen ARE devastatingly handsome - pierce brosnan and my daddy being two of them. but its not just how irishmen look that makes them so attractive... its how they sound.
and so we begin to make our lists and our plans, and while i know she's coming back.. i wonder for how long.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
SoulCollage
please join me and my co-host, laura rose, for a discussion of SoulCollage, with our guest, Carla Kurt, a certified SoulCollage facilitator and creative-life coach on our show... Discovering Nature's Spirit this evening at 6 PM!
from Carla's pre-show interview:
"SoulCollage is a process by which you access your intuition and use expressive visual imagery to create a deck of collaged cards. It is for anyone who is interested in self-discovery and self-expression in a creative and non-competitive environment."
i hope that you will join us either on the air or in chat... or, hear us on archived shows if you can't make it!
from Carla's pre-show interview:
"SoulCollage is a process by which you access your intuition and use expressive visual imagery to create a deck of collaged cards. It is for anyone who is interested in self-discovery and self-expression in a creative and non-competitive environment."
i hope that you will join us either on the air or in chat... or, hear us on archived shows if you can't make it!
thinking it through, with a nod to rose
liberally-minded people and conservatively-minded people don't just think differently about things, they FEEL differently too. according to a column i found this morning by nicholas krstof in the new york times, there's increasing evidence that the hardwiring of the brains is different.
this explains all sorts of behavior and beliefs, apparently, but in the political arena, its used to explain why it's so damn hard to make the opposing side see Reason - which is whatever your particularly-minded brain has decided is Reasonable, which partially depends on which way its wired.
according to the professor who did some of this research: "...the best way to open the mind is through the heart.”
he points to advances our gay brothers and sisters have made in terms of equal rights and explains that what's caused the shift is that increasing numbers of heterosexuals are recognizing the struggles of family members and friends.
thus, it's not reason that ultimately broadens our understanding, or enlarges our political landscape - it's love - just like rose said in her comment on my last post!! great minds (and hearts) truly do think alike! :)
and this is why i know the war WILL end. blessed be.
this explains all sorts of behavior and beliefs, apparently, but in the political arena, its used to explain why it's so damn hard to make the opposing side see Reason - which is whatever your particularly-minded brain has decided is Reasonable, which partially depends on which way its wired.
according to the professor who did some of this research: "...the best way to open the mind is through the heart.”
he points to advances our gay brothers and sisters have made in terms of equal rights and explains that what's caused the shift is that increasing numbers of heterosexuals are recognizing the struggles of family members and friends.
thus, it's not reason that ultimately broadens our understanding, or enlarges our political landscape - it's love - just like rose said in her comment on my last post!! great minds (and hearts) truly do think alike! :)
and this is why i know the war WILL end. blessed be.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
mulling it over
about a month ago, i had an opportunity to experience what the good nuns of st augustine used to call an Occasion of Grace. last summer, a friend - someone i consider a dear friend - hurt me very much in a lightning stroke of a letter that left me feeling blindsided and bewildered.
when i heard from this friend last month, out of the blue, asking my forgiveness, offering an apology, i knew i had a choice. i could vent my anger at being mistreated, or, i could forgive her and welcome her back into my life.
i chose to do the latter. i accepted her apology with as much kindness as i could muster. i was proud of myself... i knew i had done the right thing.
i wish i'd known it was just a test for another, similar but far more insidious situation that's been building under my nose.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
when i heard from this friend last month, out of the blue, asking my forgiveness, offering an apology, i knew i had a choice. i could vent my anger at being mistreated, or, i could forgive her and welcome her back into my life.
i chose to do the latter. i accepted her apology with as much kindness as i could muster. i was proud of myself... i knew i had done the right thing.
i wish i'd known it was just a test for another, similar but far more insidious situation that's been building under my nose.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
Friday, May 29, 2009
five things i've learned from watching wife swap
there's a few reality shows im ashamed to say im addicted to in a sort of peripheral kind of way. im willing to watch almost any episode of wife swap, trading spouses or supernanny.
i immediately understood my fascination with supernanny - i think jo's advice is spot-on in most instances. im sure she's not doing it all herself, but she seems to help a lot of parents and children and that can only be a good thing.
in terms of reality shows of a more competitive nature - i dont really care about competition, but i guess there's enough of the barbarian in me that i still enjoy a good metaphorical trainwreck.
like this evening's episode. the swap involves a cajun woman from louisiana and a ballerina from california, who fancies herself - among other things - as an art afficionado. (i really love that word. it impresses me no end i know how to spell it. i think i know how to spell it. i could be wrong.)
the cajun bride looks put-upon but the ballerina is coming off looking uptight and snooty and worst of all - hypocritical. but really... i can't see how she left the producers any choice. i knew it was all going to go badly for her when she announced - in voiceover - that she and her husband enjoy and appreciate (and i quote) "the finer things in life."
i don't think it was an accident that buddy chose that moment to howl.
so here, in no particular order of importance, are all the things i think i've learned from watching wife swap and trading spouses:
1. NEVER admit on national television - or anywhere in fact - that you enjoy "the finer things in life." we all like the finer things. we all just can't afford them all the time. and after all, people can differ on what they consider "fine:" there's a lot of things like whiskey and fast women - that truly are quite "fine," in their place.
2. envy is a useless emotion. the grass is not greener, anywhere, anyhow, for anyone.
3. openminded and adaptable people are not as much fun to watch as inflexible and neurotic people but are far easier to live with.
4. sometimes when you think you have something to teach, it means you have something to learn.
5. everyone is as crazy as everyone else, but in their own unique ways, and every family can at times appear completely insane when viewed from the outside.
i especially find the last one immensely reassuring.
i immediately understood my fascination with supernanny - i think jo's advice is spot-on in most instances. im sure she's not doing it all herself, but she seems to help a lot of parents and children and that can only be a good thing.
in terms of reality shows of a more competitive nature - i dont really care about competition, but i guess there's enough of the barbarian in me that i still enjoy a good metaphorical trainwreck.
like this evening's episode. the swap involves a cajun woman from louisiana and a ballerina from california, who fancies herself - among other things - as an art afficionado. (i really love that word. it impresses me no end i know how to spell it. i think i know how to spell it. i could be wrong.)
the cajun bride looks put-upon but the ballerina is coming off looking uptight and snooty and worst of all - hypocritical. but really... i can't see how she left the producers any choice. i knew it was all going to go badly for her when she announced - in voiceover - that she and her husband enjoy and appreciate (and i quote) "the finer things in life."
i don't think it was an accident that buddy chose that moment to howl.
so here, in no particular order of importance, are all the things i think i've learned from watching wife swap and trading spouses:
1. NEVER admit on national television - or anywhere in fact - that you enjoy "the finer things in life." we all like the finer things. we all just can't afford them all the time. and after all, people can differ on what they consider "fine:" there's a lot of things like whiskey and fast women - that truly are quite "fine," in their place.
2. envy is a useless emotion. the grass is not greener, anywhere, anyhow, for anyone.
3. openminded and adaptable people are not as much fun to watch as inflexible and neurotic people but are far easier to live with.
4. sometimes when you think you have something to teach, it means you have something to learn.
5. everyone is as crazy as everyone else, but in their own unique ways, and every family can at times appear completely insane when viewed from the outside.
i especially find the last one immensely reassuring.
busy busy
today and tomorrow promise to be busy. im going for a haircut, hopefully a walk or two if the weather allows. it's looking mopish this morning - the birch leaves are drooping at the same hang-dog angle as buddy's ears. i have a Writers' Circle meeting to plan, our radio show to prepare for. i hope any Gentle Readers who find themselves free on Sunday evening between 6 and 7 PM EDT will consider joining us for a discussion of a process called SoulCollage, which i find absolutely intriguing.
SoulCollage is a method of self-discovery which combines elements of the tarot, art therapy and collage, in which one's own unique deck of oracle cards are created. my friend, Carla Kurt of wings4youcoaching.com will be joining me and laura to talk about this fascinating work, and i hope you will too!
i invite you to check out the Eating... the Angel Way blog for a june rainbow challenge.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
![Reblog this post [with Zemanta]](http://img.zemanta.com/reblog_e.png?x-id=900c5a40-b266-4274-b783-60e3f3f84db4)
SoulCollage is a method of self-discovery which combines elements of the tarot, art therapy and collage, in which one's own unique deck of oracle cards are created. my friend, Carla Kurt of wings4youcoaching.com will be joining me and laura to talk about this fascinating work, and i hope you will too!
i invite you to check out the Eating... the Angel Way blog for a june rainbow challenge.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
i found this on stacie's blog: "high school reunion"
Name: Annie Kelleher
What year did you graduate?1976
Where do you live? a house in the country in CT
Married or Significant Other? Married
To who? Beloved
How long? 3 years
Kids? Yes, four girls, two boys, two dogs
Names? Katie, Ethan, Jamie, Elissa, Meg, Libby, Sam & Buddy
How old? 28, 25, 24, 22, 21, 16, ? & 5.
What were you like in highschool? Mad as a hatter
Are you different now? not in the least
If you could relive your highschool years, what would you do differently? I can't tell you that cause then you'd know what i did do ;).
Who do you still hang out with on a regular basis that you went to highschool with?no one - unless you count my brother LOL.
What did you PLAN to do after highschool? Go to college and become a writer
What did you ACTUALLY do after highschool? Went to college, got married, had kids, became a writer
What do you do now? i'm still a writer and now i talk to Angels
What are your future plans? see above
What are your interests? same as in high school
Will you go to your next highschool reunion? no f@#@$#@ing way
What year did you graduate?1976
Where do you live? a house in the country in CT
Married or Significant Other? Married
To who? Beloved
How long? 3 years
Kids? Yes, four girls, two boys, two dogs
Names? Katie, Ethan, Jamie, Elissa, Meg, Libby, Sam & Buddy
How old? 28, 25, 24, 22, 21, 16, ? & 5.
What were you like in highschool? Mad as a hatter
Are you different now? not in the least
If you could relive your highschool years, what would you do differently? I can't tell you that cause then you'd know what i did do ;).
Who do you still hang out with on a regular basis that you went to highschool with?no one - unless you count my brother LOL.
What did you PLAN to do after highschool? Go to college and become a writer
What did you ACTUALLY do after highschool? Went to college, got married, had kids, became a writer
What do you do now? i'm still a writer and now i talk to Angels
What are your future plans? see above
What are your interests? same as in high school
Will you go to your next highschool reunion? no f@#@$#@ing way
merry may
i guess if i had to pick one, may is my favorite month. i'm not quite sure why i feel this way about may - my birthday's in march. i didn't know ethan until i was 36 - long after i'd formed an attachment to may.
when i was little, may was the month associated with the Blessed Mother. i used to play may-day processions and crown my statue with may flowers while singing "immaculate mary." (yeah, i was a weird little kid.) i loved the Blessed Mother and may was the month it was okay to talk about it.
may's also the month that school starts to wrap up... i used to like that about may too, when i was little. it was the month i started to see the light at the end of the long dark tunnel that was school.
it's the month of lilacs and phlox, of columbines and sweet william. around here, its the month the bad manure smell fades away like winter's ice. but it's not just the greening and the scents, the bird calling and the bear-sightings.
now that i am older, i think it's that may feels like the month most ripe with summer's promise. the next three months sprawl in empty blocks across the pages of my calendar, as grand as the view of the atlantic ocean off the boardwalk in ocean city. what the horizon offers in terms of space, may - at least in the beginning of the month - offers me in terms of time.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
when i was little, may was the month associated with the Blessed Mother. i used to play may-day processions and crown my statue with may flowers while singing "immaculate mary." (yeah, i was a weird little kid.) i loved the Blessed Mother and may was the month it was okay to talk about it.
may's also the month that school starts to wrap up... i used to like that about may too, when i was little. it was the month i started to see the light at the end of the long dark tunnel that was school.
it's the month of lilacs and phlox, of columbines and sweet william. around here, its the month the bad manure smell fades away like winter's ice. but it's not just the greening and the scents, the bird calling and the bear-sightings.
now that i am older, i think it's that may feels like the month most ripe with summer's promise. the next three months sprawl in empty blocks across the pages of my calendar, as grand as the view of the atlantic ocean off the boardwalk in ocean city. what the horizon offers in terms of space, may - at least in the beginning of the month - offers me in terms of time.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
save the elephants - a plea for those with magickal power anywhere
a letter from deena metzger, forwarded to me this morning, on behalf of Save the Elephants. her letter refers to a series of photos i have chosen not to publish:
I saw these photos and had a major dream – a mandate with instructions from spirit. I have been trying to distribute the dream but also to live according to its instructions. Be cautious as you open the photos. I have turned the Buddha fountain that is the focus of our summer water circles (in lieu of fire circles) into an altar for the elephants. But we have to save all the creatures. By this dream, spirit says we can.
***
I saw the attached photos on the night of May 24th 2009. I had just closed the book I was reading, Bird of Life; Bird of Death by Jonathan Evan Maslow because I could not bear the pain of it. At the beginning of the book, Maslow who is pursuing the rare Resplendent Quetzal in Guatemala during the maniacal regime of the evangelist Rios Montt, is photographing vultures at the Guatemala City dump: “The dogs get the short end of it. The brazen vultures had little trouble driving the dogs away from their finds, and the men, too, picked up any handy stick or rock and lit into the cringing canines. One man went after a dog wiht his belt, and administered such a savage whipping that the howling mongrel stumbled, then keeled over. Then the man grabbed a stone and bashed the dog’s brains in.” P. 39.
Close book. Pick up the email. Open the images despite the cautionary statement that accompanies the photographs. I had been teaching a writing intensive and was exhausted, also raw and heartbroken from the beauty and devotion of the writers I had been with for the last week.
I studied only the first photo of the desert elephants before being overwhelmed by grief and anguish for the elephants and every creature on the planet. I remember such grief from the year I spent reading holocaust literature of all kinds in preparation for a pilgrimage to the Death Camps of Central Europe. The Other Hand, [Red Hen Press] on the two koans of the twentieth century, the Bomb and the Death Camps, was the result of that journey. It took me ten years to write. Sometimes the grief is so great, one must pause not to become numb, before going on.
Close the book. Close the computer. Pained beyond language, I prayed for a dream that would show us a path out of the horror we have created. I prayed for a dream that might show the way to restoration. I prayed for a dream though I have never, as I recall, ever received a dream in answer to such a request.
***
This is the dream that came at 8:45 on May 25, 2009:
I have put out a call to gather those who carry sacred and magical powers. I have no name for them in the dream though when I want to write shamans I know it is not the correct word. It is not sufficiently inclusive. The people are coming together in a rectangular room that will allow each of us enough space to sit in an ellipse much like the loft room where we gather for the Intensive in Pine Mountain. This room, however, is entirely empty of furniture.
I have some trepidations as I am not certain I can make clear the beautiful importance of this gathering.
There is a little clutch of women at one end who know each other. They have been doing political work together for years. They gather in conversation in a tight circle that feels familiar if exclusive.
One of the women asks me if this is the way I imagined our sitting together and it is not. I had seen us spread out on cloths, kangas, lappas, the like, with our ritual items around us prepared to do ceremony. She asks me if I have a microphone. Yes, I can get one, I answer although convinced that a microphone that one has to pass and hold is inappropriate as it will interfere with the ambiance we are called to create. If we don’t use a microphone, we will have to listen deeply and project our voices to be certain that everyone hears. Without a microphone, the conversations can be more intimate and spontaneous.
We are failing to gather in the way that meets the call. We are losing the energy of what we might accomplish, of what promises a new sensibility necessary for this time. I had imagined we would form ourselves into a sacred community composed of individuals who carry magical and spiritual powers. We would devote ourselves to supporting public activities on behalf of healing the earth, peacebuilding and restoration. The thesis of the gathering is that an alliance of political, spiritual and ritual activity has the best chance of success. [Writing this now I remember that such collaboration between Native American elders, medicine people and younger Native American activists has recently, in some cases, turned years of failure to achieve their goals into success.
I am rehearsing the words that I will speak to inspire the participants. Unable, in the dream, to remember an example of a partnership that reflects the work and way of life I am envisioning, I refer to Thich Nhat Hanh. I, the dreamer, am uncertain whether he was the spiritual support for a cause or whether spiritual people did ceremony to support his work. The point is that this gathering of those who are trained and initiated and truly have spiritual powers is a call for on-going ritual and ceremonial work in support of more pragmatic social, political and environmental activities.. In the dream, I am thinking of the plight of the elephants, polar bears, wolves, of pollution of the earth, air and the waters, of global warming and its consequences. Of people driven to violence, brutality and cruelty.
In order to please the women who want the microphone, though they are insisting on the old political school through which they have attained a modicum of influence, I set off at a run down the steep streets to First Street where the microphone is. But the street is further away than I remember and I soon recognize that it will take too long a time to retrieve it. I turn around and return with the intent of realizing the original vision, which is different from how we normally do things, and so derives new content from its new form.
When I return, I try to begin our meeting, but everyone is distracted and I don’t know how to gather them together. A younger dark skinned woman with dark hair lying on a low couch or mattress, raises herself on her forearms and begins singing a chant in a foreign language, a Balkan song perhaps. It reminds me of a song I heard during the retreat in response to a story of war that referenced Georgian music. The young woman’s voice is deep and resonant and the song gathers us to attention and creates the field in which our mandate, for it is a mandate, can be articulated.
As I write the dream, I am aware that this call is not a suggestion but is spiritual instruction that can help accomplish our deepest hopes for the future if we make these activities the very core of our daily lives. This is the labor that calls to each of us even as it entirely transforms and refocuses our definition of work. It is not that we are called to do this work together in a group but that we are each, in the way we are trained, called to it as our primary activity while the same is true for everyone else. Each of us devoted and alongside each other. The very definition of work and making a living is altered by the requirement to put ritual activity and prayer first before our work, before our personal concerns and lives.
***
Writing the dream has the quality of articulating the call that I was to speak and make known in the dream. Might the telling of the dream be the calling of the circle?
***
This was, it seems, spirit’s answer to my prayer to be shown ways to end the horror.
***
In order to know how to meet the dream mandate, I cast the oracle:
The I Ching: Hexagram 49 Skinning – Context Hexagram 30 Radiance
Skinning: Strip away the old. Let the new life emerge. …It focuses on ritual transformations that occur as the wu, the technicians of the sacred, put on the animal mask to call the spirits and change the time. … Perhaps the most dramatic and secret of these rituals are the dances and ceremonies that lead up to melting the metals to cast a new vessel. … The Vessel is a ruling image, a sort of grail that establishes the time and the connections to all the various spirits. The time of Skinning is great indeed. It is a time when the basic images of our lives go into flux and renewal. … Radically change and renew the way things are presented. Eliminate what has grown old and useless so that the new can be seen. … Great people change and renew the Mandate of heaven.
9 at 5th The Great Person makes a tiger transformation. Even before the omens are cast, he is connected to the spirits. This is transformation at the core of your being. Take a quantum leap.
6 above. The Nobel One makes a leopard transformation. Change your life with grace and elegance. This is a transformation that can realize things and ground change in the life around you. … Give people a common purpose.
Radiance: Radiance is the Bright Presence of things … a part of the Axis of Change. Awareness and coherence. Illuminate, articulate, discriminate, make things conscious. Bring together what belongs together. This is a time of intelligent effort and accumulating awareness. … You have fallen and found bottom. Not the time calls for bring things together. Radiance shines above you. Connect your idea with the brightness and use it again and again to spread clarity and care to the Four Corners of the world. Radiance means connecting and illuminating. …This is how change occurs in the world.
When I asked the Shining Tribe how to meet the mandate on behalf of the Desert Elephants, I was given 4 of Stones: "To look at this card is to look backwards into time, from our own modern culture through the ancient temple and then through the prehistoric opening to the light of the Spirits. ... Despite the openings to other realities we are solidly in the world of mater here, of earth.”
Dreamer and Shaman Valerie Wolf suggested that we meet the mandate by beginning with ritual prayer and ceremony -- whatever our spiritual powers and gifts might be ...on behalf of these thirsty, threatened beings....
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I saw these photos and had a major dream – a mandate with instructions from spirit. I have been trying to distribute the dream but also to live according to its instructions. Be cautious as you open the photos. I have turned the Buddha fountain that is the focus of our summer water circles (in lieu of fire circles) into an altar for the elephants. But we have to save all the creatures. By this dream, spirit says we can.
***
I saw the attached photos on the night of May 24th 2009. I had just closed the book I was reading, Bird of Life; Bird of Death by Jonathan Evan Maslow because I could not bear the pain of it. At the beginning of the book, Maslow who is pursuing the rare Resplendent Quetzal in Guatemala during the maniacal regime of the evangelist Rios Montt, is photographing vultures at the Guatemala City dump: “The dogs get the short end of it. The brazen vultures had little trouble driving the dogs away from their finds, and the men, too, picked up any handy stick or rock and lit into the cringing canines. One man went after a dog wiht his belt, and administered such a savage whipping that the howling mongrel stumbled, then keeled over. Then the man grabbed a stone and bashed the dog’s brains in.” P. 39.
Close book. Pick up the email. Open the images despite the cautionary statement that accompanies the photographs. I had been teaching a writing intensive and was exhausted, also raw and heartbroken from the beauty and devotion of the writers I had been with for the last week.
I studied only the first photo of the desert elephants before being overwhelmed by grief and anguish for the elephants and every creature on the planet. I remember such grief from the year I spent reading holocaust literature of all kinds in preparation for a pilgrimage to the Death Camps of Central Europe. The Other Hand, [Red Hen Press] on the two koans of the twentieth century, the Bomb and the Death Camps, was the result of that journey. It took me ten years to write. Sometimes the grief is so great, one must pause not to become numb, before going on.
Close the book. Close the computer. Pained beyond language, I prayed for a dream that would show us a path out of the horror we have created. I prayed for a dream that might show the way to restoration. I prayed for a dream though I have never, as I recall, ever received a dream in answer to such a request.
***
This is the dream that came at 8:45 on May 25, 2009:
I have put out a call to gather those who carry sacred and magical powers. I have no name for them in the dream though when I want to write shamans I know it is not the correct word. It is not sufficiently inclusive. The people are coming together in a rectangular room that will allow each of us enough space to sit in an ellipse much like the loft room where we gather for the Intensive in Pine Mountain. This room, however, is entirely empty of furniture.
I have some trepidations as I am not certain I can make clear the beautiful importance of this gathering.
There is a little clutch of women at one end who know each other. They have been doing political work together for years. They gather in conversation in a tight circle that feels familiar if exclusive.
One of the women asks me if this is the way I imagined our sitting together and it is not. I had seen us spread out on cloths, kangas, lappas, the like, with our ritual items around us prepared to do ceremony. She asks me if I have a microphone. Yes, I can get one, I answer although convinced that a microphone that one has to pass and hold is inappropriate as it will interfere with the ambiance we are called to create. If we don’t use a microphone, we will have to listen deeply and project our voices to be certain that everyone hears. Without a microphone, the conversations can be more intimate and spontaneous.
We are failing to gather in the way that meets the call. We are losing the energy of what we might accomplish, of what promises a new sensibility necessary for this time. I had imagined we would form ourselves into a sacred community composed of individuals who carry magical and spiritual powers. We would devote ourselves to supporting public activities on behalf of healing the earth, peacebuilding and restoration. The thesis of the gathering is that an alliance of political, spiritual and ritual activity has the best chance of success. [Writing this now I remember that such collaboration between Native American elders, medicine people and younger Native American activists has recently, in some cases, turned years of failure to achieve their goals into success.
I am rehearsing the words that I will speak to inspire the participants. Unable, in the dream, to remember an example of a partnership that reflects the work and way of life I am envisioning, I refer to Thich Nhat Hanh. I, the dreamer, am uncertain whether he was the spiritual support for a cause or whether spiritual people did ceremony to support his work. The point is that this gathering of those who are trained and initiated and truly have spiritual powers is a call for on-going ritual and ceremonial work in support of more pragmatic social, political and environmental activities.. In the dream, I am thinking of the plight of the elephants, polar bears, wolves, of pollution of the earth, air and the waters, of global warming and its consequences. Of people driven to violence, brutality and cruelty.
In order to please the women who want the microphone, though they are insisting on the old political school through which they have attained a modicum of influence, I set off at a run down the steep streets to First Street where the microphone is. But the street is further away than I remember and I soon recognize that it will take too long a time to retrieve it. I turn around and return with the intent of realizing the original vision, which is different from how we normally do things, and so derives new content from its new form.
When I return, I try to begin our meeting, but everyone is distracted and I don’t know how to gather them together. A younger dark skinned woman with dark hair lying on a low couch or mattress, raises herself on her forearms and begins singing a chant in a foreign language, a Balkan song perhaps. It reminds me of a song I heard during the retreat in response to a story of war that referenced Georgian music. The young woman’s voice is deep and resonant and the song gathers us to attention and creates the field in which our mandate, for it is a mandate, can be articulated.
As I write the dream, I am aware that this call is not a suggestion but is spiritual instruction that can help accomplish our deepest hopes for the future if we make these activities the very core of our daily lives. This is the labor that calls to each of us even as it entirely transforms and refocuses our definition of work. It is not that we are called to do this work together in a group but that we are each, in the way we are trained, called to it as our primary activity while the same is true for everyone else. Each of us devoted and alongside each other. The very definition of work and making a living is altered by the requirement to put ritual activity and prayer first before our work, before our personal concerns and lives.
***
Writing the dream has the quality of articulating the call that I was to speak and make known in the dream. Might the telling of the dream be the calling of the circle?
***
This was, it seems, spirit’s answer to my prayer to be shown ways to end the horror.
***
In order to know how to meet the dream mandate, I cast the oracle:
The I Ching: Hexagram 49 Skinning – Context Hexagram 30 Radiance
Skinning: Strip away the old. Let the new life emerge. …It focuses on ritual transformations that occur as the wu, the technicians of the sacred, put on the animal mask to call the spirits and change the time. … Perhaps the most dramatic and secret of these rituals are the dances and ceremonies that lead up to melting the metals to cast a new vessel. … The Vessel is a ruling image, a sort of grail that establishes the time and the connections to all the various spirits. The time of Skinning is great indeed. It is a time when the basic images of our lives go into flux and renewal. … Radically change and renew the way things are presented. Eliminate what has grown old and useless so that the new can be seen. … Great people change and renew the Mandate of heaven.
9 at 5th The Great Person makes a tiger transformation. Even before the omens are cast, he is connected to the spirits. This is transformation at the core of your being. Take a quantum leap.
6 above. The Nobel One makes a leopard transformation. Change your life with grace and elegance. This is a transformation that can realize things and ground change in the life around you. … Give people a common purpose.
Radiance: Radiance is the Bright Presence of things … a part of the Axis of Change. Awareness and coherence. Illuminate, articulate, discriminate, make things conscious. Bring together what belongs together. This is a time of intelligent effort and accumulating awareness. … You have fallen and found bottom. Not the time calls for bring things together. Radiance shines above you. Connect your idea with the brightness and use it again and again to spread clarity and care to the Four Corners of the world. Radiance means connecting and illuminating. …This is how change occurs in the world.
When I asked the Shining Tribe how to meet the mandate on behalf of the Desert Elephants, I was given 4 of Stones: "To look at this card is to look backwards into time, from our own modern culture through the ancient temple and then through the prehistoric opening to the light of the Spirits. ... Despite the openings to other realities we are solidly in the world of mater here, of earth.”
Dreamer and Shaman Valerie Wolf suggested that we meet the mandate by beginning with ritual prayer and ceremony -- whatever our spiritual powers and gifts might be ...on behalf of these thirsty, threatened beings....
why im coming back as a dog ...
sam and buddy sleeping off breakfast. note the toy between buddy's paws.
debts and other perceptions
my dear sister-in-spirit, laura rose posted an interesting message from Spirit yesterday on her blog, suggesting an upside-down look at whatever you might be presently perceiving as a negative. instead of being upset over the amount of debt you have, for example, you might try being happy about it.
hm, i thought to myself. Angels, i'm not sure i understand this. isn't this just calling a sow's ear a silk purse?
i happened to be weeding at the time.
Annie, i heard Them say, how do you feel about the weeds?
well, i replied, not so great. i've been out here almost a whole hour and i've managed to clear a plot the size of the kitchen table. at the rate im weeding and the weeds are growing, i'll be weeding from now til doomsday and i'll never be done.
you could try, They gently pointed out, being grateful for the weeds.
grateful for the weeds, i wondered. how do i do that?
in that instant, i understood exactly how. i could try being grateful i had land to pull weeds out of. i could try being grateful for the lush fertility of that land, of the bounty She so generously spills forth. i could try being grateful that i have so much time available to me that i can revel in being out of doors on one of the most gorgeous days ever created for as long as i please, and to the weeds for providing the purpose to keep me out. the longer i looked around, the more i saw to be grateful for.
i went inside feeling considerably humble and grateful for the weeds.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
hm, i thought to myself. Angels, i'm not sure i understand this. isn't this just calling a sow's ear a silk purse?
i happened to be weeding at the time.
Annie, i heard Them say, how do you feel about the weeds?
well, i replied, not so great. i've been out here almost a whole hour and i've managed to clear a plot the size of the kitchen table. at the rate im weeding and the weeds are growing, i'll be weeding from now til doomsday and i'll never be done.
you could try, They gently pointed out, being grateful for the weeds.
grateful for the weeds, i wondered. how do i do that?
in that instant, i understood exactly how. i could try being grateful i had land to pull weeds out of. i could try being grateful for the lush fertility of that land, of the bounty She so generously spills forth. i could try being grateful that i have so much time available to me that i can revel in being out of doors on one of the most gorgeous days ever created for as long as i please, and to the weeds for providing the purpose to keep me out. the longer i looked around, the more i saw to be grateful for.
i went inside feeling considerably humble and grateful for the weeds.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
busted... twice
a new book by the new york times' economics reporter edmund andrews reveals how even smart people who should've known better got sucked into the financial mess. BUSTED is the story of how andrews, even in the process of covering the economic meltdown from a journalist's point-of-view, allowed his heart and his doinky to get in the way of his wallet and his common sense.
it's a tale all too commonly told but not as well or as intelligently documented. however, how this could've happened is revealed in andrews' answer to a question asked by another journalist, in an interview i happened to read online this morning.
it's sad and it's funny and it's pathetic, all at the same time, and it reveals in the most telling way EXACTLY how this family found itself in the mess it's in. the lessons that this question and answer contain speak to the very heart of what needs to be addressed about our society in order to really bring about true change.
so here's the question (emphasis mine) which was part of an article by Tom Barlow, posted this morning on walletpop.com:
Q: How do you imagine your marriage would have fared if you had lived within your means from the onset?
A: I've asked myself that question many times. The toll this took on both of us, and on our marriage, was horrific. But there was one major benefit in all the madness: the house and neighborhood provided an anchor of stability for our children at a time of enormous stress for them. They loved the neighborhood and made really good friends here. They're happy and well-grounded. That is a huge deal for us as husband and wife.
i've never met mister and mrs andrews. i've never met their kids. but i can tell you right now as sure as the sun came up in the east this morning and its heading into the west tonight that if this man really believes was he says about his kids, he's smoking something stronger than i ever have. his kids are NOT well-grounded, or happy, or thrilled about having the most intimate details of their parent's f^#$-ups revealed. anyone who would stay in a neighborhood so his kids could have "really good friends" DOESN'T have his priorities in order and doesn't understand what kids REALLY need from their parents.
it'd be hysterical, if it weren't so freaking sad.
it's a tale all too commonly told but not as well or as intelligently documented. however, how this could've happened is revealed in andrews' answer to a question asked by another journalist, in an interview i happened to read online this morning.
it's sad and it's funny and it's pathetic, all at the same time, and it reveals in the most telling way EXACTLY how this family found itself in the mess it's in. the lessons that this question and answer contain speak to the very heart of what needs to be addressed about our society in order to really bring about true change.
so here's the question (emphasis mine) which was part of an article by Tom Barlow, posted this morning on walletpop.com:
Q: How do you imagine your marriage would have fared if you had lived within your means from the onset?
A: I've asked myself that question many times. The toll this took on both of us, and on our marriage, was horrific. But there was one major benefit in all the madness: the house and neighborhood provided an anchor of stability for our children at a time of enormous stress for them. They loved the neighborhood and made really good friends here. They're happy and well-grounded. That is a huge deal for us as husband and wife.
i've never met mister and mrs andrews. i've never met their kids. but i can tell you right now as sure as the sun came up in the east this morning and its heading into the west tonight that if this man really believes was he says about his kids, he's smoking something stronger than i ever have. his kids are NOT well-grounded, or happy, or thrilled about having the most intimate details of their parent's f^#$-ups revealed. anyone who would stay in a neighborhood so his kids could have "really good friends" DOESN'T have his priorities in order and doesn't understand what kids REALLY need from their parents.
it'd be hysterical, if it weren't so freaking sad.
oh, what a beautiful morning
there are many beautiful places on this earth and this morning, right here, is surely one of them. this is the view looking to the right from my front door... the path leads down to the herb beds. along the path i grow motherwort, mugwort, sweet annie, betony and anise...along with a wildflower called indian paintbrush.
this is my pink-and-blue garden... the phlox just finished blooming...but the sage is in full form. you can see the echinacea leaves poking up on the one side.
here's where the fairies live...can you see the entrance to the Hall of the Fairie Queen?
say hi to the pansies... can you see the faces?
and the zen garden...that Beloved just finished weeding and resanding yesterday...
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
this is my pink-and-blue garden... the phlox just finished blooming...but the sage is in full form. you can see the echinacea leaves poking up on the one side.
here's where the fairies live...can you see the entrance to the Hall of the Fairie Queen?
say hi to the pansies... can you see the faces?
and the zen garden...that Beloved just finished weeding and resanding yesterday...
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
Monday, May 25, 2009
back from the bash, but alas...
not the beach.
we didn't make it to the beach, because it thundered and threatened and even tornados were predicted.
instead we made vessels and laughed and ate and cried and drank. (i stuck to water - i had a long drive.) my friend is a gracious, charming hostess (she did not pay me to write that) and her friends are delightful, intelligent, thoughtful, caring women in whose company i felt honored to be included.
im tired today, but it looks like a good day to be tired... the sky is soft and gray as worn flannel. i changed the sheets yesterday, and my fresh bed beckons. i won't see meg and libby yet for hours. the puppies are snoring in perfect counterpoint to each other, even sighing in synchrony. the bullfrogs bellow and burp. Beloved is romping through PimpWorld like the Joker on crack-cocaine.
for right now, here, in this little corner of the world, as robert burns put it, "god's in his heaven, all's right with the world."
today i'm reminded that such peace has only come at great cost, and i am grateful to all those who have made it - and continue to make it - possible. i understand that the peace and freedom my family and friends and i all enjoy is not, at least under our present conditions, free. may these sacrifices ultimately be for the good of all beings, without exception.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
we didn't make it to the beach, because it thundered and threatened and even tornados were predicted.
instead we made vessels and laughed and ate and cried and drank. (i stuck to water - i had a long drive.) my friend is a gracious, charming hostess (she did not pay me to write that) and her friends are delightful, intelligent, thoughtful, caring women in whose company i felt honored to be included.
im tired today, but it looks like a good day to be tired... the sky is soft and gray as worn flannel. i changed the sheets yesterday, and my fresh bed beckons. i won't see meg and libby yet for hours. the puppies are snoring in perfect counterpoint to each other, even sighing in synchrony. the bullfrogs bellow and burp. Beloved is romping through PimpWorld like the Joker on crack-cocaine.
for right now, here, in this little corner of the world, as robert burns put it, "god's in his heaven, all's right with the world."
today i'm reminded that such peace has only come at great cost, and i am grateful to all those who have made it - and continue to make it - possible. i understand that the peace and freedom my family and friends and i all enjoy is not, at least under our present conditions, free. may these sacrifices ultimately be for the good of all beings, without exception.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
hot flash bash
every time i say this i have a vision of Beloved cavorting in his bathing suit around an open air hot-tub at a hotel we stayed in in key west, doing his best impression of james brown's "hot-tub dance." im happy to say he won himself some anonymous applause.
i may find myself similarly cavorting around a beach fire this evening, at a friend's "hot flash bash" - she's officially entered menopause and she's getting a bunch of her girlfriends together to celebrate.
what's making this doubly-different is that i will co-hosting our blogtalkradio show from her house on the connecticut shore - a place, believe it or not, in all my years in connecticut, i've never been. i hope all my Gentle Readers will tune in to join us for a discussion of Manifesting - How to Make It All Real... 6 - 7 PM eastern daylight time on Discovering Nature's Spirit.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
i may find myself similarly cavorting around a beach fire this evening, at a friend's "hot flash bash" - she's officially entered menopause and she's getting a bunch of her girlfriends together to celebrate.
what's making this doubly-different is that i will co-hosting our blogtalkradio show from her house on the connecticut shore - a place, believe it or not, in all my years in connecticut, i've never been. i hope all my Gentle Readers will tune in to join us for a discussion of Manifesting - How to Make It All Real... 6 - 7 PM eastern daylight time on Discovering Nature's Spirit.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.
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