Tuesday, June 2, 2009

confirmation from obama

it's not often i look for confirmation in the pages of the political press, but i have to say my heart was lightened when i happened to read this quote from obama: "part of being a good friend is being honest."

aye, there's the rub. how do you be honest and spare the other person's feelings? how do you speak your truth and allow that someone else's might remain different from yours?

yesterday i met with a dear friend and had a very hard conversation. i had to explain how my feelings were being hurt, even while i understood it was not intentional. it's hard to sit with someone you care about and tell them they are, at least in your world, messing up. it's even harder to say it in a way that they can hear it and not throw things at you, retreat into silence or launch accusations of their own.

and now comes the hard part... because i'm second-guessing myself now, wondering if i did the right thing, if i said the right thing, if i handled myself in the "right" way. i must allow my friend the courtesy of sitting in her turn with all i said. i must release all expectation of any outcome, positive or negative.

so it was very nice to turn to a random web page and see that no less a person that the president of the united states - someone i can actually respect, for a change, no less! - had had this to say in the last 24 hours: "part of being a good friend is being honest."

and furthermore, the war WILL end. blessed be.


Stacie said...

i think honesty, although painful at times, is always the best approach. especially if it is done in love.

i hope your friend remembers that you do indeed have a great heart, and i hope he/she remembers how much you care about them.

Hi! I'm Grace said...

... I'm speechless!
One of my experiences with my friend, I was witholding something... but not intended forever, I was just waiting for the right time, and it did came. But I believe being honest will keep you out in trouble, no matter what. But it is the fear that ruined it.

Martha said...

To speak your truth and own your stuff is a gift and a sign of character and a kindness. I've learned and continue to learn the lesson of how much courage it takes to be honest and true with yourself and those we care about.

Thank you so much for your comment about the Angels, lucky they aren't too picky and are easily amused like most winged creatures.

marymctodd said...

Hi Annie Kelleher, I have no idea how I happened on your site. Love it though. This is your cousin Mary Todd. I couldn't not ask how your dad and uncles are doing? I don't like high school reunions and agree with so much of what you say. My sisters and I would love to meet you someday. It is so nice that your daughter is going to Dublin. Two of my kids spent a summer in Dublin. Very different personalities. Very different experiences- both great. It is nice to see that you have a big heart. It is in your DNA girl. Love to meet you someday. Mary T. of Linwood

Midlife, menopause, mistakes and random stuff... said...

I just don't think it would be you if you did anything less Annie. Put it out there on the table girl!! I really think you did the right thing and now you can see where it goes from here okay? We are always in tune with our true spirit when we are honest :)
You are just a beautiful person.....most people wouldn't even try to be so kind about something such as this. You're so sweet.........
Take good care and let us know. I have been thinking about you since I first read about it :)

Steady On
Reggie Girl

Divaeva said...

TAG! *laughs* You're it!
I usually ignore these things - but I was killing time (and geez did it take some time!)

adiaha said...

I think this is where graciousness comes into play. You can say anything in the world it is just how you say it. What is your intention. Having said that, once you say something you can't determine how someone else will respond. Just not up to you any more. A true friend will hear you and find a way to understand. I haven't always been a good friend in either situation. I do hope to get more chances to be that good friend.

Kim said...

It may hurt at first but a friend who is truely honest with you, lovingly so is a true blessing.