happy birthday, mister ray

i don't know if this is a true story or not...but i thought it was really funny and since today is my ex husband's birthday, i figured everyone should enjoy a laugh. so thank you to cheryl for bringing this little gem to my attention:

A little old lady from Wisconsin had worked in and around her family
dairy farms since she was old enough to walk, with hours of hard
work and little compensation.

When canned Carnation Milk became available in grocery stores in
approximately the 1940s, she read an advertisement offering
$5,000 for the best slogan. The producers wanted a rhyme beginning
with 'Carnation Milk is best of all.'

She thought to herself, I know all about milk and dairy farms.
I can do this!

She sent in her entry, and several weeks later, a black limo pulled
up in front of her house.
A man got out and said, 'Carnation LOVED your entry so much,
we are here to award you $2,000 even though we will not be able to use it!'

and here, at least according to cheryl, is the award-winning effort:

carnation milk is best of all,
no tits to pull, no hay to haul,
no buckets to wash, no shit to pitch -
just poke a hole in the son of a bitch.

which never seems like a bad idea in terms of my ex, either.

and furthermore, the war must end. blessed be.