in the midst of life

on saturday, Beloved and i paused in our packing to attend the funeral of a friend of Beloved's, who just dropped dead early on the morning of the winter solstice as he went out to plow the snow.

this morning, the local headlines are full of a story about a high school student who died on saturday when the school bus he was riding in was hit by a volvo station wagon driven by another high school student.

in the midst of life, we are in death.

i happened to sit next to the grandfather clock at the funeral. as the non-denominational chaplain (he was quick to assure us in an irish brogue thick as guiness) attempted to comfort the crowd, i watched the clock tick away a few minutes of my life.

in the midst of life, we are in death.

the truth of the matter is that it doesn't matter in the end where we think we're going or what we think we're going to do. the cold hard tap on the shoulder can come at any moment of any day. every day i get up, part of me wonders if today is The Day.

and then another part of me decides it doesn't matter if it is, because if today should happen to be the Last Day, i want to make the most of the time i have. if today is the Last Day, let it be the Best Day...at least as far as i have power to make it. i'd much prefer to leave everyone wanting more, than sighing in relief that finally That's Over. (my grandmother - at great pain and suffering to herself - taught me that.)

the dual benefit of this outlook - at least as far as i can tell - is that it leads to a lot of happy yesterdays and people who will be genuinely sorry to see you leave.

that's certainly how both these two went out...in the midst of life.

my deepest and heartfelt condolences to the families of joey hammond of canton and vikas parikh of rocky hill.

and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.