feast of fools

the first full month of spring dawned gray as march, but warm - so warm that for the first time in months, i didn't need a coat when i walked the puppies. the air felt like damp flannel, cottony and heavy and wet on my skin. i hear a cat bird calling in the birch trees, and a woodpecker knocking somewhere in the wood. i feel the world waking up.

i had a wonderful birthday. Beloved gave me, in addition to the black-sheep sweater and the books (the celtic way of seeing by frank maceowen; the celtic wheel of the year, by tess ward, sacred paths for modern men by dagonet dewr; and fairy houses everywhere! by barry and tracy kane) - a gift certificate for walking shoes; a new dog-walking coat, a tie-dye skirt, and a bottle of champagne. libby was sweet and pleasant and an absolute delight, and all the other children called. we had plans to go out for dinner, but because it was monday all the places i wanted to go to were closed. so i made a pork loin, and baked maple squash, and a broccoli carrot stir-fry. Beloved brought home strawberry cheesecake. my father sent an enormous bouquet, i parleyed my mother's $100 into a massage and lunch at my favorite tea-room. we curled up on the couch after dinner and watched a really bad movie until Beloved fell asleep. then i turned on sixth sense - its one of those movies that makes me feel almost normal.

today - the anniversary of the first day i ever saw - i plan to spend just being. baby jake is napping, full of cereal and pears. the second load of laundry is spinning, my evening's new-moon-in-aries meditation is planned. stew is simmering in the crockpot - im going to go mix up a meat loaf and freeze it before i do the morning's dishes. i have a bunch of bananas and a hydrangea to take to my grandmother when baby jake wakes. it is the most ordinary of days. and yet today, is the feast of the fool.

the Fool is the first card in the tarot, the card of fresh beginnings, eternal chances, and endless possiblities. it is a card that resonates in my soul. but in medieval times, the Fool was the voice of the Observer, who never missed a trick, and could be relied on to speak whatever it was that no one else could - or would - say. today the Fool reminds me, like emily in Our Town - to Pay Attention.

thank you to everyone who sent me cards and comments and good wishes. you enhanced my birthday more than i can tell you :).

and furthermore, the war must end. blessed be.