life among the addams - part three*

my Beloved is a wonderful man. he's smart and witty and charming when he wants to be, generous and endlessly patient. he's also a little bit like gomez addams. actually, he's a lot like gomez addams - remember how gomez used to read the ticker tape? he's also interested in a wide range of interests that spans the gamut from an online game called pimpwar (remember i said he was charming when he wants to be?) to mandarin chinese (he's been studying for over five years) to rock n' roll to painting to charitable endeavors to wall street. he's also extremely openminded.

one day he decided he wanted a porsche. he found one on ebay and drove it home from boston. somewhere along the way the gearshift died, and he wasn't able to put the car in park. he got that kink worked out, fortunately, and we named the car lil sparky. it felt like riding in a bucket of bolts and i refused to ride in it after just one ride around the block. lil sparky definitely had a mind of its own and when it tried to kill him a third time, i insisted he get rid of it. fortunately when i say things like that to Beloved, he pays attention. and so lil sparky went to a new home in new jersey, where i sincerely hope it harbors no memory of us or the cars we drive. my mother still lives in new jersey, and i do, on occasion, still visit. it would bother me to think that the little demon car might remember me.

this evening Beloved and i were out for dinner, and Beloved shared that he had recently sent a letter to an old friend of his who's now, for lack of more theraputic accomodations, a guest of the state.

this friend is truly a sad creature, the victim of domestic abuse, and a system that lacks any real capacity to help her. prison, alas, is the safest place for her - at least she has a roof over her head, three meals a day, and a place to sleep. it also means she can't drive around drunk and potentially kill someone who actually contributes to society. Beloved and i agree that the abuse damaged her in such a way that her ability to stop herself from drinking seems to have totally disappeared. she doesn't have an off switch.

so this lady is a sad case, and i credit Beloved greatly with being potentially the most functional friend she has.

"i wanted to send her a letter," Beloved said, "so she'd have something to read. i couldn't think of too much to say, so i sent her a copy of The Wasteland. i just sent her half of it, actually. it came to over four pages, counting all the foreign language parts."

"you sent her what?" i asked.

"the wasteland," he repeated. "by ts elliot. but just the first half. i didn't want to overwhelm her. don't you think thats great? its so dense - she has months to read it."

"she'll never understand it," i said. "do you understand it?"

"of course not," he answered. "no one really understands it. i dont even think elliot understood it - its like a list of paragraphs totally unrelated to each other - you know i once wrote a paper on the wasteland. april is the cruelest month..."

"that's going to confuse her right there," i pointed out. "it starts to get warm in april - april's not the cruelest month - february's the cruelest month - or wait, maybe november - that's one mean month, too, and you have to start revving up for holidays and the weather's getting bad -"

"are you mocking me?" he asked.

"what are you sending her next," i inquired. "ulysses? how about the meditations of marcus aurelius? the complete works of shakespere? scene by scene?"

"you're mocking me," he said.

"what's she going to say when they ask her about the foreign languages," i ask. "they're going to think the greek is arabic and she's not going to know it's greek. what if they water-board her cause they think it's code? april is the cruelest month... what if they think she's masterminding an escape in april? a riot? a prison-wide pillow fight? what are you going to say when they show up our door?"

"i'll tell them the truth - it's all greek to me," Beloved said. when i stopped laughing, he looked at me sorrowfully. "you're going to blog about this, aren't you?"

the minute i got home.

*parts one and two can be found in october 2007