a few days ago, i found myself in earnest conversation with someone i used to think i knew quite well, and heard this person defend her own hurtful behavior by saying "i think it's healthy to have boundaries."
well, yes, of course it's healthy to have boundaries. if you're dealing with delinquent teenage stepsons, for example, it's very healthy to have boundaries. on the other hand, when the person on the other side of the boundary tells you your boundary is hurting her, and that person happens to be a dear friend, then you have ask yourself why the boundary is there in the first place.
or, rather, the other person should start to wonder why she's sitting there, being hurt.
and furthermore, the war will end. blessed be.