Friday, May 2, 2008

full retreat

i survived my second kickboxing class feeling far better than i expected to because i made the mistake of telling the instructor that yoga made me more sore. but i not only survived, im less sore this morning than i expected to be, and i slept really really deeply last night - the rest of the well-worked-out.

or maybe it was my friend rose's rhubarb mead. :)

today i prepare to go on my writing retreat. it's not supposed to be a very nice weekend, so i won't have to feel guilty about missing the time in my gardens. the longer i live at pond house, the less i like to leave it. wisdom house is a pretty place - but pond house is prettier and a lot more private - AND it is set up to my own particular, persnickety tastes.

speaking of tastes - food is a huge issue for me when i go away. i generally lose my appetite immediately upon picking up a suitcase, and so consequently, i only want to go places where i really want to eat the food. my sense is that this lovely, welcoming, spiritual place serves a lot of pasta with a lot of whole grains, cheese and tomato sauce, all of which, for various reasons, twist my gut into knots. one of my planned stops today is the health food store for hemp milk and almond butter. between that and my paleomeal, and some fruit, i can make smoothies if they serve lasagna at every meal.

so why am i going at all?

in these last few years, i have made a conscious intention to deepen my writing, to make it not just a collection of syllables and sentences, but something that could make the soul of another sing, weep, laugh. my agent once said to me that i write the idea of a character, but not its heart. my journey of the last few years has been to find my way into my own heart, to reclaim all the shuttered places. and now that i feel those places are mostly healed, mostly reclaimed, i think it's time to work some more upon the craft, the technique... to marry more fully the yin and yang of what i do.

there are many many journeys on which we can only go alone. but every now and then, even the most solitary of souls needs a guidepost or two. and so i go to Wisdom House with a clear intention, a full stomach, and an open heart.

and furthermore, the war must end. blessed be.


Stacie said...

character development is one of my favorite parts of writing. i'm not so good at all the other parts, but it's the heart and soul and story of the character that excites me, motivates me and gives me joy.

the part that you do so well, tell a multi-layered, fast moving, detailed story with plot twists and adventure - that is what stumps me.

and this is probably because of one of the main differences in our personalities. i am open and straight-forward, and fine with being vulnerable. you are strong, proud, mysterious and guard yourself with a fiery baracade.

i know you ONLY through your writing, and i get a sense of your heart. but i think in order to write the heart of your character more freely, you have to try to be more open, and share more of your own heart - in real life and on the page.

annie kelleher said...

you are wise and perceptive beyond your years. :)