listening to the rain

i had lunch today with another friend. we chatted about our daughters, our men, our writing group. i shared my woes, she shared hers. we walked around the mall together, checking out everything from hardware to bracelets. when i came out, it was still pouring.

she asked me how i interpreted the cards from my last spread. it reminded me that i felt there was still more in the cards for me.

this evening, as a purple twilight deepens, and the rain still softly falls, i drew the rest.

i interpreted the four of swords in the last spread as the point i'd reached after my confrontation last week. with the three of pentacles the Work continues, after a brief rest. The figure in the five of cups watches an otter reach for a leaping salmon, his two full cups secure, even while the other three lie drained to their dregs. the figure in the ten of wands balances his shifting load up a rocky path, but i notice he has a firm grasp on his rope, a broad back suited to the task, and sure footing. the seven of cups reminds me not to spend too much time in navel-gazing or monday-morning quarterbacking. the task, as the eight of wands reminds me, is still before me, divinely inspired as it may be. the spread ended, with the princess of pentacles, gazing in delight at her prize.

or so i thought.

draw one more, said the Voice.

for some reason, i thought of Kali and Hecate, goddesses of endings and crossroads, transformations and blood. They are not Energies i dance with readily or lightly, and i never invoke or invite Their Presences without all due respect. to unleash Kali or summon Hecate into one's life is to unleash radical change that may come in the least unexpected of places.

the first thing i learned about Them is that when They show up, i'm no longer in charge. i can resist, to a degree, but Both ultimately will have surrender, for Theirs is the Reality that will not be denied. a brush with Either, and you can never be the same. and yet, i've learned that Their lessons can be swift, and tempered with the compassion of Kwan Yin, or the mercy of Mother Mary.

the next card i drew was Death... depicted by a gray haired crone holding a skull, a sickle in her belt, a snake on her shoulder.

a burst of rain splatters through the birches. i think They've heard my prayer. blessed be.