Saturday, January 17, 2009

come saturday morning

the air has a brittle edge down the back of my throat this morning, the light is that distinctive january blue. the puppies picked their way across the crusty snow. more's expected tomorrow - today is just cold.

Beloved's still sleeping, libby's babysitting baby jake today, and i am worried about my oldest daughter. my daughter has one of the most difficult jobs i can imagine - she is a child abuse investigator for the state. she is the person who goes when the first call for help comes in, she is the one - even before the police sometimes - who sees the real cost our culture exacts on its most helpless and its most vulnerable.

but it exacts a terrible toll on her, too. can't you work a spell, asked my middle daughter, meg, last night. i think katie needs a new job.

i think she does, too... as a thousand reasons rushed into my head as to why this is not exactly the most auspicious time, energetically or otherwise, to go about throwing one's Will against the Universal Flow. and yet, sam's snoring peacefully on the chair beside me, reminding me that nothing at all is really impossible.

it's been a while since i worked a spell and im not sure i really want to stick my big toe into the tidal wave of change that feels like it's about to be unleashed.

but what set off my internal maternal alarm was the fact that they were eating macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets for the third or fourth night that week. i may not have much control over much of anything in the world, but perhaps its time to help my daughter get control of her food. and so while i mull about the spell, i'll be brewing up menus and food plans and shopping lists and receipes.

and furthermore, the War must end. blessed be.


Laura Rose said...

wow, having been involved in a similar work environment myself not too long ago, i can say with certainty that it takes its toll on all involved. i don't believe it's work meant to be done long term. or you start to lose the best pieces of yourself. perhaps carepackages of food right now...and give yourself more time before any magick. i will add my love energy for he to the mix.

Lynette said...

Your lovely has a very very hard job. But she has a large heart. It takes that to do the job of protecting the innocent. What a gift!

P.A. GIbbons said...

I too work in a very difficult job with some very damaged kids. I have gone through periods of wondering if I can keep going. My daughter has commented that I am not as relaxed when I am teaching vs. when I have time off. But then something happens. I get another tool, I learn what battles to fight and what to let go, and somehow I have the strength to keep going. It is my service to the world, and I really do love it. The universe gave me this path, and I willingly walk it. Perhaps it is her path to walk, and perhaps magic is not the answer. But giving her tools, or helping her out might get her through the hump she is in, until she decides to change the path herself. It is getting through the difficult times where I have learned the most. xxpatti

annie kelleher said...

patti - your words are true and laura, i appreciate your wisdom in counseling hesitation. i agree that magic is perhaps not what's called for, but support... it is a path that only the bravest of heart are ever called to walk.

Martha said...

I send my best to your daughter and to all of you. I hope things work out without you having to do any heavy lifting w/your spells.
Thank you also for your comment about California weather, I laughed my a$$ off, muchas gracias!!

Walk in the Woods said...

Love and prayers ... love and prayers.

To me, it takes a true Earth Angel to pursue such work in the first place. And angels let us know *first hand* when magical intervention is wanted/needed.